Soundbites: Hot Chip (Ready for the Floor)
So here I am, stuck in this frenetic pigeon-hole that some might call a learning institution, trying to remember why I am here and what I am doing. While trying mindlessly to work on the paper that is due tomorrow, at the back of my mind I’m completely obsessed with the thoughts of how connected I am. Cross the road and I can be having Dublin Mudslide at Cathy, zip onto a bus and I’ll be in the heart of Ngee Ann City, hop onto the next train and I could be home sweet home. In between planning out my possible alternative iteneries and clicking blankly at Facebook pictures, I suddenly remembered the politics paper that I was supposed to be working on. I glanced at the Word document on my desktop – at this moment in time, my essay consists of one sentence. (It reads: This paper will attempt to argue that feminism is just an idealistic state of mind that can never be fully accomplished). Full stop. Amen.
I’m trying to make sense of why I’m here and what I am doing. I’m not doing a good job at all but you’d have to pardon me: the list of unchecked items on my to-do list is mind-numbing. If I’m not attempting (fruitlessly) to enter the lecture halls on time, I spend so much hours working on essays that never seem to end, trying to avoid working on the essays, bolting from one product launch to another, trying to reach my interview location on time (with lip gloss intact), or trying to find a taxi. Only thing that keeps me going is redbull and the thought of freeing up time to spend the weekends with you.
The favourite part of my day is always the hour before I turn in. The house will always be so quiet, and the tiny lights that dot the view outside my bedroom window suggests that there are many people in Potong Pasir that are also unable to fall into slumber at this godforsaken hour. I love looking at the small lights, and wondering what the occupant of the house is doing. Armed with a can of coke in my hand, I would perch on the bed, listen to the sound of silence and think about the day. Periodically, the phone would beep, and you’ll be sending me “Are you sleeping?” messages. That’s when I know you are battling to stay awake just to accompany me.
These days, it is the silence of the night and the moments before slumber that marks the highlight of my day.
I hear you. Those are the highlights of my days to. The time when I know I will sleep and be able to forget, if only for awhile, all the stuff that has to be done, all the scary things that weigh me down. The sad part is that even during the sleeping those things can creep in and steal those precious moments from me!