Two vodka shots later

Melt My Heart to Stone

Steph Gwee — Wed, 19 May 2010 17:25:05 +0000

“ One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. ‘Which road do I take?’ she asked. ‘Where do you want to go?’ was his response. ‘I don’t know’, Alice answered. ‘Then’, said the cat, ‘it doesn’t matter.’
— Alice’s Adventure in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

Tumblred

Steph Gwee — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 04:44:59 +0000

www.valium-and-tobacco.tumblr.com

where random musings are posed as poetry or lyrics (of sorts)

Protected: Everybody is always so fucking “fine”

Steph Gwee — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 05:27:50 +0000

This post is password protected. You must visit the website and enter the password to continue reading.

I hope that’s enough

Steph Gwee — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 14:52:59 +0000

“ I laughed and said, Life is easy. What I meant was, Life is easy with you here, and if you leave, it will be hard again.
— No One Belongs Here More Than You

I think I made you up inside my head

Steph Gwee — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 13:50:28 +0000

I want to send you a text message right now about nothing at all but I won’t because I don’t want you to think I think about you too much.

Among my prized possessions are words that were never spoken.

Steph Gwee — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 13:24:41 +0000

Your face was just an inch above mine, and as your warm breath danced past my lips, all I could see was those eyes. You were looking straight into mine, and at that point in time, those shades of hazel seemed to be spilling over with emotion. And I wished time would just stop right there, so I could forever remember the way you were looking at me. Such rawness, such love, it made my heart ache. How I wished that time was controlled by a shutter, and I could take a picture of the moment. The only word I could use to describe how I was feeling was Love. Yet, the word seemed so small and insignificant and it doesn’t fully encompass all that was going through my heart. Forward a month later, now, and I still can’t find the right word to say how I felt. Love, you say? Yes it was, and yet at the same time, it was much more than that.

Perhaps a mixture of love and fear? The more Love there is, the more Fear there is, don’t you think? There, I’ve said it: I’m scared of everything. I’m scared of who I am, scared of how I might not be good enough, scared of how you might one day realise that I’m not all that amazing you thought me out to be. And most of all, I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you.

But at the same time, after tearing away at all these insecurities, I am happy – I have never been happier at any point in my life, and I am glad you made it all possible. I don’t think you really know how much of a difference you made in my life, and I can only hope that I can make the same difference in yours.

I once asked a friend what it meant to be in love. The friend of mine just proposed to his girlfriend, only to be rejected while he knelt on one knee with a ring outstretched. Taking a huge gulp of his pint of San Miguel, he mumbled: “You know it’s love when the tiny details about the other person, the ones that seem so insignificant to most people, seem incredible and magnificant to you.”

Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I will follow you into the dark

Steph Gwee — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 14:59:59 +0000

Every person I know has a shadow. A dark cloud of fear and doubt, that follows even the best of us almost every second of the day. We pretend the shadow isn’t there. Hoping that if we choose to ignore it or run faster and farther, it’ll get tired and give up the chase. But, like they say, you can’t outrun your shadow. And the only way to get rid of a shadow is to turn off the light. To stop running from the darkness, and face what you fear. Head on.

They say that fear is the heart of love, and I probably have to agree.

Maybe we should just sleep on it

Steph Gwee — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 15:01:30 +0000

If love comes your way
don’t be afraid
Unlock the box your heart’s encased in
Hope it wont change and
beware of the games that she’ll want to start playing
Oh, lately babe I stay awake thinking if your life is lonely

Well maybe I’m just scared
scared to ever have to let you go
I want you to know that right from hello
your love just kept me wondering
Well maybe I’m just tired
tired of never knowing

I know I’m not good enough for you

If I can be saved show me the way
Help me help myself
Don’t be confused
our love is true
Just tell by the way I’m looking at you

It is the lying in your arms

Steph Gwee — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 14:45:53 +0000

Soundbites: Ryan Adams (Wonderwall)

It is the minutes afterwards that is the most telling. He could be lying there with his hands folded across his chest, eyes resolutely burning a hole into the ceiling. Or he could be leaping to his feet and reaching for the remote control, saying: “Wonder if Alonsso won the cup?” Or, in some instances where the minutes after is marked by a sweet silence in the air and nothing but a cool breeze sweeping against your hair, he could be lying down beside you and gently holding you in his arms. And the only thing you can feel is his heartbeat and his slow, laboured breathing. At the end of the day, that’s what it’s really all about, isn’t it? The security, the comfort, the peace in knowing that (even if it is just for that one moment), you were his and he was yours. And nothing can ever take that feeling away from you.

I don’t believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now. Because maybe, you’re gonna be the one who saves me?

Oh how it is bleeding

Steph Gwee — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 06:38:55 +0000

oh master of words, can’t you say what i want to hear?
twirl me around your fingers, no i don’t mind that at all
it’s just like what he said: “just use me as you will”
i don’t care one bit
no, it’s you who don’t give a damn
paper words falling from your mouth
tick tock tick tock
it’s 2.39 now.

and the phone isn’t ringing.